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Paris Hilton in HOUSE OF WAX
Humor:
PARIS HILTON'S STRIP SEARCH ONE OF THE TOP 10 THINGS THAT OFFENDED US THIS WEEK.
What does ACCORDING TO JIM, Lindsay Lohan's toxicology report and the Apple iPhone have in common? We don't like them.
By NUTS MCDOUGAL , News Editor
Published 7/3/2007
We have come to the conclusion that America has become the über-sensitive nation of the world, getting offended and blowing just about anything out of proportion – whether it's naughty words on cable TV or a Michael Moore documentary.
While it is hard to offend us, we seem to be able to find certain tidbits that make us want to scream out naughty words right in front your kids.
We are offended that:
While it is hard to offend us, we seem to be able to find certain tidbits that make us want to scream out naughty words right in front your kids.
We are offended that:
1) Paris Hilton’s strip search wasn’t broadcast over the Internet – in grainy nightvision.
2) John Stamos’ PR rep forgot to mention his FULL HOUSE addiction as the cause of his strange behavior overseas.
3) No one is playing “count the silicon” with the reunited Spice Girls.
4) Disneyland’s racial profiling doesn’t include all those scary people who put on oversized costumes of beloved cartoons.
5) ABC resurrected ACCORDING TO JIM. Hmm I guess having the CAVEMEN sitcom on their schedule just begs for a mid-September replacement.
6) TMZ somehow got its hands on Lindsay Lohan’s toxicology report. Sheesh, these Web scumbags could infiltrate the Vatican.
7) Paula Abdul’s new reality show, HEY PAULA, only features “clean and sober” Paula not crazy, intoxicated Paula we all love and enjoy.
8) No one came up with beer on a stick, otherwise known as Hopsicles, when I was in college.
9) Apple’s iPhone commercials doesn’t feature a nerd and hip annoying guy spouting one-sided propaganda.
10) The Krauts beat us to banning Tom Cruise – really after the whole Oprah couch-jumping thing shouldn’t he have been blackballed?
Reader Comments
moi from ? sez....
ok somebody did Not watch the second part of paulas show! she did act extremely hyper/crazy, even if she was obvious that she was just tired and not drunk. like asking strangers for money at starbucks in the middle of the night the day before the famous interviews. hilarious stuff for sure!
7/3/2007 6:04:57 AM
